In the past month or so I…
stood with my son on top of a mountain for the first time
passionately kissed my husband by a bubbling waterfall
watched my daughter bravely walk into her first day of grade two
leisurely sipped wine on the terrace of the Banff Springs Hotel
admired my naked face in the reflection in a crystal clear lake
wished my 90-year-old grandmother Bon Voyage as she set off with her new beau on a week-long adventure to Newfoundland
ate fondue in an old swingers’ hideaway with a super sexy man
was celebrated and recognized in the most soul-shaking way ever
logged over 25 miles on hiking trails in the Rockies over a couple of days
played UNO with my red-headed-potty-mouthed superstar niece
fell madly in love with a regal and resilient guy named Louis (the extraordinarily handsome, but also elderly and totally blind dog, who stayed with our family)
took my vitamins every single day (this is a big deal, guys)
showed up to the mat nearly every single day
hung out with one of my fave movie stars
watched my grandparents slow dance to Unchained Melody in my kitchen
shot hoops with the neighbourhood kids in our driveway
heroically completed two chapters of my book
watched a woman speak her truth while wearing a secret cape
heard my mama say, “He can’t take his eyes off her and she can’t take her hands off him,” as she described the scene over the phone as my sister’s beloved emerged from a coma following nearly fatal cardiac arrest (he’s only 43 y’all)
held sacred space for six women who consistently rock my world and feed my spirit
received over 250 flowers and a few thousand words from some of the most exquisitely thoughtful people on the planet
reignited my love for Prince, Martina McBride, Skid Row, Natalie Merchant, and Metallica
gave a pretty stellar TV interview
felt divinely inspired to write poetry for the first time in a decade
made the bestest homemade Mac ‘n Cheese ever for a handful and a half of humans I can’t live without
Also in the past month or so I…
took allergy medication for the very first time
received the scariest phone call EVER
ate a ton of crap fast food
cancelled and rescheduled meetings that were wildly important to me
was forced to confront my mortality and that of everyone who is precious and loved by me
missed a super important deadline
voiced thoughtless and rather unkind opinions about cats in the presence of cat ladies
slept for less than four hours 15 out of 30 nights
had a painfully difficult conversation with a dear one
received a tax notice for an outstanding $15K
poorly parented my babies in moments of crisis
witnessed terror, shock, and grief that I’d prefer to never see again
was snarky to people who didn’t deserve it
was vulnerable with a few who hadn’t earned it
mindlessly binged on 50+ hours of Netflix (highly recommend “The Fosters”)
said “farewell for now” to a friendship that was hurting my heart
listened to “If Tomorrow Never Comes” (classic, gut-wrenching Garth Brooks) on repeat about 427 times
suffered from a bout of food poisoning
neglected to respond timely and lovingly to a number of emails
killed a plant that I’ve very proudly kept alive longer than I ever thought possible
ugly-cried A LOT
unceremoniously and impulsively flipped off a dangerous driver via my driver’s side window with buckets of gusto, insistence, and animation (it was kinda like a boomerang on IG, without the necessity of boomerang)
absolutely BOMBED a radio interview
remembered that I entirely forgot to send my nephew a birthday present and still haven’t done a damn thing about it two weeks later
broke a monumentally mammoth promise I made to myself
It’s been quite spectacular and sucky, magnificent and murky, glorious and gross, exceptional and excruciating.
But I am beyond grateful for EVERY. SINGLE. MINUTE. of it all.
Because I’m here.
Living, loving, laughing, walking, talking, hurting, healing, helping, giving, gasping, grasping, raging, reeling, sobbing, smiling, playing, praying, creating, breathing, and being.
Forgiving, forgetting, and flying forward with fierce intentions.
Petting puppies, kissing babies, making lunches, learning Spanish, basking in the light, and rolling around in the dirt.
So, while there’s not a lot of tragedy in all of this truth, it’s MY truth – raw, real, and resplendent - right here and right now.
And truth is potent medicine when it’s pure - whether it comes from a pharmacy of privilege or a dispensary of deep despair and unimaginable injustice.
I’m here. And I’m grateful.